The Grim Reaper's To-Do List
The Reaper had one job. ONE. And yet, here we are. Tracking his progress daily.
Medical news, doctor visits, cognitive concerns, physical exams — the whole morbid buffet.
He's been suspiciously healthy lately — no medical news from our sources right now.
Check back soon. The Reaper is patient. We are less so.
Because "fine, he's breathing" and "fit to hold nuclear codes" are two very different things.
No 25th Amendment chatter right now. Either everything's completely fine or they're all pretending it is.
Probably the latter. Check back.
High crimes, misdemeanors, congressional chaos — the greatest sequel nobody asked for.
No impeachment news right now. They're either building a case or pretending nothing's wrong.
Definitely the latter. We'll be here when it changes.
Add This to Your Phone
Save it like an app — no download needed.
Check in every morning with your coffee. It's basically a health tracker, but make it morbid.
- Open this page in Safari (must be Safari)
- Tap the Share button ↑ at the bottom of the screen
- Scroll and tap "Add to Home Screen"
- Tap Add — it'll appear like a real app ☠️
Looks for the box with an arrow pointing up ↑
- Open this page in Chrome
- Tap the three-dot menu ⋮ in the top right
- Tap "Add to Home screen" or "Install app"
- Tap Add — done! ☠️
Some Android browsers show a banner at the bottom automatically
Enjoying the death watch?
Buy us a drink while we wait. Lord knows we need one. 🍸