{"product_id":"i-am-too-old-for-this-sheet-t-shirt","title":"I Am Too Old For This Sheet T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e⚠️ Hello. You are not an idiot... yet.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShopify won't let me remove colors so here is your warning: don't be a fucking idiot and get a print that is black on a black or navy shirt. Don't be an idiot again and get a white print on a white shirt. Don't be an idiot. If you do, I will yell at you. Thank you for your patronage. \u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e⚠️\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cb\u003ePressing Process\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003eThis tee is printed using sublimation— a process that bonds the design directly into the fabric rather than sitting on top of it, like DTF or screen print. The result: a soft, vintage-look finish with zero raised texture, so it feels just as good as it looks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDetails \u0026amp; Fit\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eClassic unisex fit, side-seamed and shoulder-taped for durability. Made from Bella + Canvas' premium Airlume cotton\/poly blend — basically the 3001's cooler, more refined sibling. Please allow 8–10 days for processing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy $31?\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBecause we give a damn. Ethically sourced, hand-pressed, and made using eco-conscious methods: bluesign®-approved dyes, solar-powered facilities, zero-landfill scrap policy, and FLA\/WRAP certified production (only 30 companies worldwide have that accreditation).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003eWash inside out, cold. Tumble dry low. This keeps your tee looking and feeling its best for longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal\" dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDesign Credit\u003c\/strong\u003e: Artwork used in this product is purchased from a DTF printer or directly from the artist, with a valid commercial use license.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Grumpy Greetings Co.","offers":[{"title":"Heather Carolina Blue \/ XS","offer_id":47925133607049,"sku":null,"price":31.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Carolina Blue \/ S","offer_id":47925133639817,"sku":null,"price":31.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Carolina Blue \/ M","offer_id":47925133672585,"sku":null,"price":31.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Carolina Blue \/ L","offer_id":47925133705353,"sku":null,"price":31.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Carolina Blue \/ 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